Wednesday, March 3, 2010.
I don't feel like posting what happened on Monday and Tuesday. I totally have no mood now. Everything spoiled my mood today. It's about results again,what the hell! I'm trying to forget about my atrocious N level results,but Mr Keng today announced that some of the students in my class will be going for the prize presentation ceremony on Speech Day based on our N level results last year,those getting 3distinctions and above will get to go for prize presentation.Nearly half of our class of the students got the chance to go,and all of my friends,i mean cliques got the chance to go,only me the one who don't get this chance and one more person. My friends were so surprised that i don't get the chance to go and i knew that i won't get this chance at first. I was totally and utterly sad to the core!! During my Emaths test today,i felt like crying but i managed to hold back my tears,during English lesson,i managed to hold back my tears also. I knew that it's too stupid to cry on this small matter,but to me,it don't seem to be a small matter. I'm trying to forget my N level results,but teachers,schools kept on bringing up. I cried not because i don't get to receive the prize,i just felt that my cliques in class around me all doing so well,and i'm the only one who don't,its quite sad to know that you're the only one with lousy results among your friends,i felt so helpless sometimes. Why i put in so much effort,in the end,i only managed to get 1distinction for Emaths if i don't convert my O level Chinese.I felt so hopeless,everybody are doing well in their studies,i don't know why the most basic 3distinctions i can't even get it? I seriously don't understand why............what's the use of studying so much? Some of the things i memorised like crazy,in the end........what the hell laaaa.....i cried and cired once i reached home today. I felt so hopeless,helpless...................